Q: “Is it bad that I hate everyone at my job?”

Originally answered by Barry Edwards on Quora, 8-15-2020

Yea, that’s pretty freaking bad!

Considering we spend at least half our waking hours working in whatever capacity we’ve chosen for ourselves, I think it’s vitally important to our wellbeing AND the people that we affect on a daily basis that we enjoy what we’re doing and at least most of the people that surround us.

The fact that you hate everyone at your job can be boiled down to two questions – both of which result in the same answer:

  1. Is your environment so toxic that everyone is overly stressed and negative? This happens when the leadership at the top leads by fear and intimidation.
  2. Or, is it your own insecurities and inadequacies? For instance, when I was younger I would try to find faults in everyone around me in order to prop up my lowly self above them.

Both questions lead to the same answer – you need to make a change. You can’t control other people, you can only control yourself. So, if you’re in a toxic environment, QUIT. If you don’t have the balls or faith in yourself that you can find a better job because of COVID or other excuses right now, then simply commit to spending one hour a day working toward finding that dream job.

Or, if you get real with yourself and realize that the hate you are feeling for other perfectly valid human beings is coming from your own flaws and insecurities, than get to work on them immediately. There are so many free resources today – self-hypnosis vids on YouTube (one of my favorites is Michael Sealey) as well as inspirational, spiritual and educational material. Consider joining ToastMasters to overcome social fears. And/or take some classes to improve your worth in your chosen career path.

At the end of the day, if you hate the people around you, it’s a personal problem that you should deal with. It’s not an external problem (meaning, the problem is not the other people). Right now you’re breathing negativity into the world – we don’t need more of that. But the world thirsts for people that contribute positivity, both socially and professionally.

Take the bull by the horns and change what needs to be changed. But, for god’s sake, don’t play the victim.


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